Cleaning Veterans' Markers The first rule of gravestone cleaning is make sure you have permission before you begin . If you aren’t the lot owner, you will need permission from them to clean a gravestone. You wouldn't go up to someone's car and begin washing it--maybe they have special soap and wax that they prefer, or maybe the car has paint issues that need to be addressed before it can get a proper washing. Maybe they just don't want their car washed. As the owner, that's